I’ve been in my new digs for less than a month. My mom did a fantastic job with the painting. I’m not 100% sold on it though; I think because it just doesn’t feel like home. I long for the material things I had before. I long for the garden. The comfort. The familiarity. The modernness. But that’s just it: it’s what I HAD. It’s no longer. It’s IN THE PAST. I need to embrace this home because it’s all I have at this moment. The little touches that make it a home will come in time, like an area rug to warm up the living room. Something in the gigantic kitchen aside from my teeny-tiny table. These things will happen in time…all in good time. The past is behind me, and I’ve learned some things this month…
True friends NEVER abandon you, even if you disappear for awhile or get stuck in a rut. Some very special people reached out to me this summer when I was at my lowest point…and I readily grabbed on to them as lifesavers. Never was I judged for my absence. Never did they at any time say “Where were you?” They knew when I needed them and I’m so thankful that was…life works in mysterious ways. Ladies, if you’re reading this, you know who you are…
And then there are the friends who are ‘across the pond’ so to speak. Our time meeting was brief, but I truly feel a friendship was cemented. The emails I’ve received from those special individuals have only reinforced this. I feel blessed right now. Perhaps it took a heart-breaking, soul searching period to realize what I DO HAVE.
Yeah, there are moments of hurt, of memories that linger and a sense of confusion. But they no longer paralyze me. Just like others’ lives go on and move forward without a glance back, so must mine.
My work is probably the only real downer in my life at this moment, but I’m not alone in a fight to make it better, and give myself and the staff a VOICE. I have to tell myself every day this fight will be worth it in the end…but if it’s not, I’m OK with that and prepared to move on. If I have to.
This is my time. I am choosing to embrace it. Life has something amazing in store for me, I just know.
Oh and pub/restaurant reviews coming up soon! Darby’s in Kits is up next…xo